Max Scherzer: Get off the “gave up the most HR’s per innings pitched” leaderboard.
Stephen Strasburg: fall out of love with my slider.
Gio Gonzalez: Focus. FOCUS. Wait, was that a snowflake? Is it snowing? What was I thinking about? Oh, right: FOCUS.
Tanner Roark: to be the best pitcher no one outside the Nationals organization and fans has ever heard of.
Joe Ross: Not always follow my big brother’s example. Mound presence, yes. Shoulder problems, no.
Sammy Solis: Avoid the DL. All year.
Blake Treinen: Be ready when Dusty calls on me for the ___ inning.
Koda Glover: Be honest with the trainers and coaches if I’m hurt.
Shawn Kelley: Be ready when Dusty calls on me for the ___ inning, and be honest with the trainers and coaches if I’m hurt.
Michael Taylor: Be the baseball player Dusty thinks I am.
Ryan Zimmerman: Be the baseball player that Dusty and Rizzo think I should be (aka Comeback Player of 2017).
Derek Norris: Hit well enough that no one ever says “we got rid of Espi in the lineup for HIM?”
Daniel Murphy: Last year was fun. Let’s do that again, only better.
Anthony Rendon (Tony Two-Bags): Last year was fun. Let’s do that again, only better. With awesome hair.
Trea Turner: New Nationals’ stolen base record. And get the equipment manager to find me a helmet that will stay on without me holding onto it . . . because that’s slowing me down rounding the bases.
Clint Robinson: Put those bats I got for Christmas to good use. And I don’t mean giving them to the Kiebooms for firewood. (Okay, they can have them if they break).
Adam Eaton: Play so well that the White Sox start looking up the definition of grand larceny.
Bryce Harper: Be the Bryce of 2015. Hey, I’ve got a wife to support!
Jose Lobaton: Elevate the rest of my game to the level of my helmet-taking-off and Gatorade-glasses-cup skills.
Jayson Werth: Keep one step ahead of Father Time. (One more year, please, just one more year of positive WAR!)
Andrew Stevenson: Play well enough in the Minor Leagues in 2017 to get your call-up to the Bigs.
Erick Fedde: Same as Andrew Stevenson’s resolution.
Victor Robles: I will protect my wrists with those reinforced wrist guards I was supposed to get for Christmas.
Austin Voth: I know the opportunity will present itself. I will be ready.
Bob Henley: Get a tattoo of a stop sign on both palms. (OK, maybe a weekly henna tattoo first just to try out the concept and see if it works).
Dusty Baker: Never use the same catcher in both ends of a doubleheader.